Cloie –

Last Updated: August 28, 2026 @ 1:48 PM

I decided to move this to a website due to the size that it’s quickly becoming.

I’ll note when this is complete if I get that far but I would greatly prefer that you got a hold of me before then.

I want to start by sharing a little from my point of view – not as an excuse but as a way to maybe provide some clarity to how everything that I’ve done since meeting you has been (in my mind) for you, your son, and our rest of eternity together.

I am genuinely so sorry, Cloie.

It was literally halfway through the MGK concert when I caught your facial reaction momentarily and it instantly made me think to myself “man, I really need to like set some time aside to talk to this girl about life, what’s driving her, and what kind of secrets she’s got”.

We both know how it went after the show.

I hope you know that I have never had and will never have any ill intentions towards you.

My intentions towards you have been only revolved around mending our relationship and your safety since we last spoke – maybe aside from some thoughts about retaliation in terms of figuring out what you’re doing and doing it better which was because I thought you just randomly decided to leave me and ruin your life basically so I wanted to make sure you had every reason to come back honestly.

I’m pretty surprised to be finding what I am but I’m generally just intrigued and want to know what’s going on.

Knowing what’s going on is generally my biggest concern – and even that is probably a little negotiable.

I can’t be sure of the stuff I discovered without talking to you but I would assume that you would think I’ll be upset about some of it from a monogamous point of view if it is.

I think you probably remember in the last couple weeks we’re together and I said that I don’t know if I could justify that – although it did make sense to me.

I’d really just be sad if we couldn’t be us ever again.

I thought we did an alright job after our first date and agreed that neither one of us signed up for it but we were both pretty adamant about it. I think you even brought up monogamy being what you we’re looking for and I am more than willing to sign up for that with you so I did.

To be blunt – I have not ever even considered someone else from the night we met until it was the last night of forest and I determined that I wasn’t able to resolve it.

I also assumed the best of you at your friends house until you wouldn’t give me an answer about it for several days.

I don’t want you to feel hurt or like the situation is any worse because of it but that still be hurting me.

I literally just want to be able to ravage you without coming into contact with other dudes – and have at least a general idea of what’s going on.

I suppose I want to be able to discuss things better with you too.

I genuinely feel like we things were going well for a couple weeks before I started drowning in stress and that only got worse.

During that time we continued to get to know each other and I have only gotten more sure that you’re my person.

The stress continued though and I’m literally willing to work myself to at least the point of being sick for myself so I couldn’t imagine not being willing to for you too.

I thought that we were working on getting you set up with a place to live so we could pick back up where we left off with easing into the relationship – I honestly just thought we were both pretty stressed with everything already leading up to that point and were only where we were at because it was better than the streets.

I thought you genuinely wanted an RV rather than anything else and I genuinely wanted to get it exactly how you wanted it so it would be perfect for you.

I won’t pretend to have not caught wind about something taking place around this time where you seemingly needed to be alone with the RV so I assume that has something to do with this all as well.

The big thing that bothers me about that is that I don’t know what I don’t know and I would feel bad if this is a situation where I could have kept working on the RV for you alone while you’re gone instead of moving it to storage and and worrying about you this whole time.

I’m also pretty bothered that I let all our stuff get in the way of us.

I really didn’t think about it until we were in my comfort zone at the show and it hit me like a train that we had to figure some stuff out.

I genuinely have never been angry with you – I genuinely feel like I was just constantly overwhelmed and at my tipping point of frustration from trying to make everything as perfect as I could for you because I know you deserve it.

We honestly got there pretty quick and I should have talked to you about it more and then I genuinely believe it just got out of control where it’s like yeah we need to talk about some stuff but lets think priorities because it wasn’t long before we stacked up a pile of stuff that we really should have been working on as it came up.

I want you to know that I would never intentionally make assumptions about your past or past traumas – and I feel like I at least always tried to keep an open mind and also not push you to hard on things.

I’ll admit that I probably didn’t push you much at all on anything and that’s definitely a problem and something I think that I would done had we got off to a better start.

I genuinely feel like I didn’t know what was going on frequently and I should have used that as a reason to have a discussion with you but I feel like I’ve been rather confused about – not us but more so what we are doing.

You told me about your past alcohol consumption which I agreed was concerning but then you told me you were down to an amount that I wouldn’t call much of a problem upon immediate thought. I don’t drink though and know alcohol is the worst drug for your health – not to mention that my mom died from it and I love you more than anyone so I obviously want to keep you around and I mean even without all that I’d still do my best to help you get through this in whatever ways I could.

It was also costing money and to be honest with you, I was hoping you’d come talk to me too – I’ll admittedly probably have caused that by that point but I had no idea that this problem was building up and it hurt just because you wouldn’t come talk to me every time I found more empty alcohol bottles.

I guess I did assume that you had no income for example – I suppose I still don’t really know. I know we talked about your income and I think that was a goal of yours – so I suppose that I assumed that would have been your only income if you did have something else.

Yeah, I’m sorry – I should have been better about that.

I could see myself not mentioning some of this stuff I dug up either just be I couldn’t be sure how you’d react – similar to how I didn’t say that I was as interested in making content as I am.

I hope you know that I never wanted to break up with you – I just didn’t have any other way to tell you that I was already so far past the point of being able to keep down the path we were going because I literally felt like I tried everything I could have thought of before doing that – and then we went on to throw it around back and forth to the point where we didn’t even know who broke up who the last time we spoke.

My honest POV was that we started off pretty good but I feel like I was quickly consumed by everything and multiple times past the point that we should have ever really been at. Literally over and over again – but during that my love for you still only continued to grow.

I was genuinely just worried because I feel like I was trying to work with what you were giving me and I also felt like everything we were doing was taking us to a point where I wouldn’t be able to save either one of us – and I obviously can’t save you from your situation like I thought we both wanted and were trying to do in the manner we were if I got myself into a situation before then.

I should have definitely tried to get more into discussing your past and had I done so I could maybe have had a better of idea of what other paths you’d be open to and have suggested we take one where we’d still be together and having a bunch of fun together right now.

On the subject of fun – I don’t feel like I’ve ever had a whole lot of it lmao. I genuinely feel like I didn’t even start realizing what fun was until I started eating mushrooms a few years ago. Furthermore, I think I probably would have started slowly pulling back on describing our relationship as fun around the point where the allegations with Debra started and kept going. Once again, note that despite not having a whole lot of fun, my love for you still only continued to grow.

For the record, I didn’t think that you were having fun either but I thought we were doing the best we could at the time to fix that and that it was going to have to be a long thing to work on if I wanted to be part of your life forever because that seemed to be all that we were capable of.

I genuinely thought things like the allegations were probably a temporary side affect off where you were at with a combination of the alcohol, your meds, everything else we have going on, Then you had your own things going on like being a mom on top of it all so I felt like I was in no position to be complaining.

I genuinely feel like I tried to just let all that stuff go and at first it wasn’t a huge deal at first but I feel like it quickly started taking it’s toll on me and it wasn’t long before I eventually let it get it get in the way of treating you how I know I should have as the queen of the universe.